Grand Tour Of The Greatest Digimon Ever: IMPMON!
by Blackvoid
Summary: Impmon's got a giant new laser, and everything's a target. Run digitdestined, RUN!...or stay right where you are, because after this fic, you'll need to be shot.


**This is the never ending adventures of everyone's favorite season 3 character, Impmon.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, or it's characters.**

**Grand Tour of the Greatest Digimon Ever: IMPMON!**

**By: Blackvoid**

Ai and Mako were strolling through the park one day, hoping Impmon would return to them some time soon. As if on cue, a large black hole appeared in the sky, and the same Digimon they had been thinking about moments earlier crashed into them, sending the three to the ground.

"Watch where you're goin' brats!" the purple-skinned imp cried, annoyed. Suddenly, he realized where he was and who he was sitting on, and smiled. "Ah, hey there chumps! Good to see ya' again! Ain't got any food do ya cause boy I'm starving!" He was quickly silenced as Ai and Mako dove onto him, hugging the life out of him.

"We missed you Impmon!" they cried in unison, "In fact, we even got you a present last Christmas in case you came back!" Mako quickly pulled forth a large box, rapped neatly and tagged with a 'for you, Impmon' card.

"What's this you crazy kids? Not another teddy bear I hope, the last one ya' got me sorta ripped when you two argued, if ya remember, that bein' why I left with that crazy thinkens' you was selfish!" Impmon declared silently.

"Nu uh, it isn't a teddy bear! Open it up and see!" Ai chirped happily. Impmon quickly tore the paper wrapping to shreds to reveal…

" The super soaker 3000 x-terminator edition? OH YEAH! I can REALLY blast some butt as Beelzamon with this baby! Thanks ya crummy tikes!" Impmon smirked evilly, holding up the super-soaker that was almost the size of him in his Impmon form.

" YEAH! I told you he'd like it AI!" Mako shouted.

"Nu uh, I told YOU!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"ENOUGH! Geesh, you human squirts don't EVER shut up do you?" Impmon fumed, although he couldn't really be mad at the kids after such a thoughtful gift. Instead, he turned his vicious rage towards more…challenging targets. 'Heh heh heh…Dumb-dino-mon, you're gonna be toast when I get a hold of ya! Foxymon won't be able to resist a stud like me when I'm takin' down all the other Digi-punks single-handedly!'

Laughing like a maniac, Impmon waved to Ai and Mako as he leapt to the top of a nearby building and took off into the dark night. It was time for vengeance…time for chaos…time for…**THE GREATEST DIGIMON TOUR EVER!**

'And I already know where that little weak-kneed freak with the goggles is…at the park.' Impmon thought evilly, and in a flash of purple light turned into Beelzamon. He ran the rest of the way down the block, then opted for a better method of travel and whistled, calling forth his pride and joy, the Behemoth. He quickly passed through the streets and stopped at the park. 'Yep, that punk's sure to be here, playing with old Dino-breath' He thought as he walked into the park, and towards the 'home' Takato had built for Guilmon. He decided against knocking, since it would just destroy the wall anyway.

"You in here you freaky human-slave?" Beelzemon shouted.

"Awwwwww…5 more minutes Takatomom…." Guilmon's half asleep voice croaked from inside. Beelzemon failed to stifle a laugh at Guilmon who was obviously so whipped by Takato that he thought of him like a mother.

'What a joke! That sissified sister of a sissy won't stand a chance…' Just as Beelzemon thought it, Guilmon was awakened by his laughing. "Good, you're awake you dino-jerk. Get out here and fight me already! I ain't got all day ya know!" Beelzemon finally managed to stop rolling on the ground laughing long enough to taunt the red dinosaur Digimon. Guilmon stumbled out of the hideout and studied his visitor.

"Oh, hey Impmon, why are you here? You want to play with me?" Guilmon asked curiously. Beelzemon smirked.

"No, I'm here to kick your Digi-butt! Terra the Destroyer!" the Demon Lord Digimon fired his ultimate attack from his new ultimate weapon directly in front of Guilmon, knocking him approximately 15 miles away from where he was currently standing and into a bunker at a not-so-local golf resort. "Fore!" he laughed as he watched the dino fly away.

Beelzemon rolled on the ground laughing, not having this much fun since the last time he'd been alone with Renamon. After quite some time, he managed to pick himself up off the ground, remembering the last time he'd been alone with Renamon. 'Hmm…that was pretty fun, I should hunt her down. I bet she's at that mean chick's house that she's always hangin around. I'll see if I can't catch her there and see if she's up for another round with the Imp-king.'

Already anxious at the thought, Beelzemon climbed on the Behemoth and rode off towards Rika Nonaka's house.

**Elsewhere**

"Digimon…they act all nice, but I know what they're doing…they're trying to get our trust, just to destroy us…but I won't let them! I will stop them LONG before they ever execute their plan! Annoying girl who sits in the chairs number 2, is 'IT' ready yet?" Yamaki asked, bent on ultimate Digimon annihilation.

"Um…what happened to the two who sat here before…?" Asked girl number 1. "…and why can't you call us by our names?"

"They got to soft on Digimon! They thought we should just leave them be! They were fools! They weren't good in bed! Er…forget that part…as for the name thing, why don't you ask agent number 3...the cook!"

"…but didn't he try to betray you and end up in the fiery pit underneath this complex?" N. 2 asked.

"Yes."

"Ohhhhhh….NEVER MIND THE NAMES MASTER!"

"That's right, names only lead to anarchy…that is why I shall hear no more! NOW! I must go to my bed-chambers…with many women…er…forget that too…" Yamaki stammered, before turning and running away.

"Remind me to ask for a raise…err…maybe not," #1 said, before turning back to work.

**At Rika Nonaka's home**

" Oh miss pycho-pantsss! Foxymon!" Beelzamon shouted. Suddenly he noticed low voices that no human ears could pick up at the distance away he was, and he decided to investigate. He quickly walked through the front door to the Zen-garden, and quickly stopped in shock.

"Oh Rika, I've always loved you! I couldn't live without you…" Takato whispered to the girl beside him, and they were both half-undressed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean goggle-head…just don't think I'm gonna start being all nice to you in public or anything, I got a rep to keep!" Rika said, but quickly followed up by kissing him lightly.

'My god! It's the discovery of the century! I could sell this to the closest TV station and become a millionaire! Eh, what'u I need that HUMAN money for? I'd just take the crummy money if I wanted!' Beelzamon thought quickly, but as he saw things begin to move forward a little too quickly for his taste, he turned and ran in order to avoid seeing something he should have never even known about, and to his bike. He quickly began to drive, no thought of his destination in mind as the bike roared over the sounds of the dull city.

'Ok, gotta get those images outta my head…Goggle-head and the Ice Queen mating? Ugh! Anyway, where can I find Foxymon if not with her horny tamer…ah ha! She always goes and talks to that kid with the bunnymon, right? I'll just go there…' Turning his bike in the direction of Henry Wong's home, Beelzemon rocketed off at breakneck speed. Soon enough, he arrived at the blue-haired tamer's home, and then he walked quickly through the back door to search for the kit-Digimon.

"Hey! Foxymon! You in here?" he called out carelessly, awaking Henry's sleeping sister, Suzie. She came down to investigate the noise and found Beelzemon wandering through her house, but she was not scared. In fact, she was excited.

"Bweelsamwon! Wanna pway Pwincess Pwetty Pants? You can be tha' Pwince! Lopmon is bein da' Pwincess!" she smiled a toothy grin. Beelzemon was disgusted beyond belief. He quickly whipped out a rag of chloroform and put the tike to sleep, placing her gently on top of the table before quickly finding Lopmon. He smirked when he did…Digi-butt kicking time.

"Hey Beelzemon! You here to play Princess Pretty Pants with me and Suzie?" Lopmon asked stupidly. Beelzemon did not answer with words, but instead with a claw attack that sent the Digimon flying from the room, the house, and the country. He then turned his attention to the room at the end of the hall…Henry's room, where he and that big-eared pansy of a Digimon Terriermon were more than likely hanging out.

As he began walking, he decided to have a little bit of fun with them…remembering a horrendously terrible song of death from an anime he had seen on late night TV when Ai and Mako were asleep…he began to sing…

"_Total slaughter…total slaughter…I won't leave…a single man…alive…Latidatidie…genocide….latidatidud…an ocean of blood…let's begin…the killing time…."_ he chuckled darkly as three screams of terror came from the room in question. 'Wait a minute…three?' Beelzemon quickly burst into the room, only to find the brainiac-dork tamer in bed with none other than HIS Foxymon! "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" he screamed, thrashing his laser arm through the adjoining wall.

A very naked Henry tried scurrying behind the terrified (and equally naked…err…as naked as Digimon get) Renamon, but currently found that Terriermon was already residing there…"Hey! You can't touch her like that!" he screamed, throwing the bunny-eared Digimon in Beelzemon's path, praying it would stop him. Beelzemon smirked again…more fun for him.

Raising his laser, he fired. "Terra the Destroyer!" Renamon quickly fazed out from the room, taking Henry with her. Terriermon, however, was blasted full-on, sending him 27 miles from the Wong household, and conveniently into a vegetable field in the middle of nowhere.

Spotting a pile of picked carrots, the weakening Digimon smiled. "Hea…ven…too bad… those other… losers… couldn't…make it…" he breathed heavily before passing out. Quickly, he woke up once more. "Oh yeah…and if you can hear me right now, Henry…I always thought you were gay…" he stated plainly before passing out once more. Meanwhile, in the room, Beelzemon laughed maliciously as he noticed half of the Wong house destroyed by his blast.

"Great, but where…ah ha!" he pointed across the way, spotting Renamon trying to escape with her human lover. "Gimmie a break! Terra the Destroyer!" he fired across the landscape, destroying everything in site and hitting the area a few feet away from Renamon with his tremendous blast. The blast sent the two into a nearby lake, drenching them both, and causing Beelzemon to laugh even harder. " You human-whipped Digimon are pathetic! I ain't even broke a sweat! Hm…now what'do I do to get the most fun out of this…I KNOW! In ten days I shall hold a tournament, to decide the fate of the earth! Er…the Digidestined! I hope you'll be there. If you win, I will leave you alone, but if I win, I will DESTROY YOU ALL! MUAHAHAHAHHHAHAHH!" Beelzamon shouted, then grew forth his wings and left, still laughing maniacally.

"Ren…Rena….Renamon? What just happened….?" Asked a scorched Henry.

"I believe we've got ten days to live…"

"Yeah….so wanna finish our mating?"

"Yep."

**ON top of a miscellaneous skyscraper**

"Oh yeah baby, that's the way to work it…Huh? Sorry readers, wrong area, unless you WANT to watch this…oh yeah baby…" Yamaki said, surrounded by less than dressed women, all rubbing him and whispering of things we can't say due to legal restrictions…

**In the Kamiya household.**

"So you see, we have ten days until he destroys all of our Digimon! I really don't care about that stupid Guilmon bitch, but Rika really loves Renamon, even though Renamon's a whore with that semi-gay Henry, and I love Rika enough to wanna protect her happiness!" Takato finished.

"I'm NOT gay!" Henry shouted.

Tai looked over at his long time friend and now girlfriend, Sora for help, but received only a concerned look. Sighing, he knew he'd have to take it upon himself to do something…"Um…look, this sounds bad and all, and you have the goggles, which makes you cool but… WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT'RE YOU DOING IN MY HOME?" Tai shouted, scaring Takato so he fell on his butt.

As quickly as possible, both he and Henry scrambled to their feet and ran from the house in fear. Somewhere, Rika sneezed. "Such a stupid coward Gogglehead…why do I love you again?"

**Elsewhere**

Yamaki smirked. His plan would be a complete success, for sure. 'After 10,000 years I'm finally free…It's time to conquer Earth!…err…no wait, that was the Power Rangers…um…I will destroy all the Digimon with my new secret weapon at the tournament! MUAHAHAHAHA!'

"Um…Yamaki?…you're scaring us…" number 1 said timidly. Number 2 nodded as well.

"I was?" Yamaki asked, blushing. "Um…well then stop listening!…err…oh, and Number 1...I will see you in my bedroom in 5, correct?" Number 1 smiled and nodded as the blonde walked out of the room, flipping his ever present Zippo lighter. Suddenly, Number 1 burst from her seat.

"I'VE BEEN CHOSEN! HOORAY!" she cheered as she ran from her seat around the room, before leaving for the bedroom.

"Should we tell her that she'll be fired as soon as Yamaki is done with her?" Number two asked, smirking.

"How would I know? I'm just a grumpy old Janitor…" replied Jack "Grizzly Wing" Taylor, the Hypnos custodian for the past 1,000,000 years or so. "Dumb kids…"

**At Rika's house**

Everyone waited as Takato began explaining his plan for the tournament one last time. "Right…so here's what we do…our Digimon go out and distract Beelzemon during the fight…then, we run like hell while they get their asses blasted!" A round of cheers went up throughout the Digidestined…needless to say, a round of cheers did NOT go up throughout the Digimon…but no one cared because they have to listen to their tamers anyway.

Rika smirked, "So smart…one of the reasons I love you Goggle-boy…also one of the reasons your such a dork….but one of the reasons I love you nonetheless." Without another word, the red-headed Tamer drug the goggle-headed tamer from the living room towards her bedroom…moments later, screams of pleasure coming from the same direction sent everyone from the house blushing.

Ryo laughed, "Well you all need not come, I, the Digimon King, shall take down this foe single-handedly…for I am…He who does not allow evil! The Champion of Justice…the Great Saiyaman!…err…Justicemon!" Everyone sweat dropped and turned away, walking to their respective homes to enjoy the final 9 days of their lives.

**At The Cell Games…err…Beelzemon Games Ring**

"Hm….I'm hungry. I know, I'll eat a…BANANA!" Beelzamon shouted. Suddenly a stupid, large man whom I at least know as Monev the Gale appeared.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH! YOU SAID BA, THEN NA, THAN NAS! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The pathetic specimen of a man laughed, being so simple minded…of course, this being due to the fact he was locked in a basement for 20 years…

" What the hell? GET OUTA MY RING YOU BIMIBO!" Beelzamon shouted, brandishing his laser.

" Hey…pretty big gun…um…but what's it fo….OH GOD!" Monev shouted as Beelzamon raised the gun to Monev's head and fired…blowing him to oblivion.

" Another one turns to dust…heh, this's too easy…" Beelzamon said, smirking at the thought.

" DOWN WITH THE COTTON GIN! DOWN WITH THE COTTON GIN!" Shouted some random guy riding around on a tricycle.

" OH MY God!…or should I say ME…because, of course, I AM that great…!" Beelzamon shouted, blowing the man away and relieving the earth of another waste of space. " Damn…can't there just be someone normal for once…I'm getting sorta bored with all these losers…and if I see ONE more los-"

"THE GREAT RYOMON APPEARS!…Cyberdramon refused to strike the poses again….or challenge his highness to battle yet…anyway…JUSTICE PUNCH!" Ryo jumped at him, and began to punch him repeatedly.

"Uh…hmmm…you're too pathetic to kill…" Beelzamon sighed.

" OH YEAH? JUSTICE KICK!" Ryo tried to do a spiral kick against Beelzamon's chest, but ended up bouncing off Beelzamon's chest and falling to the floor.

"Ok…you're getting there…" Beelzamon sighed as he bent to pick the worthless human up, but Ryo, for once in his life, was clever and knocked him back on his butt by surprise.

"I AM…" He began, striking a pose on one leg with his hands splayed out in mid air by his face. "…HE WHO DOES NOT ALLOW EVIL!" He spread his arms beside him like he was trying to make wings, and began running in place. "THE CHAMPION OF JUSTICE!" . At this he put one of his arms on the ground and the other directly up in the air, followed by moving his spreading his legs into a wide stance and spreading his arms. " THE GREAT, RYOMAN!" he put his hands in front of him like he were trying to stop an attack. When he looked, Beelzamon was standing there staring at him, arms folded in front of him.

"That's it, you did it. I didn't want to kill anymore losers, but'cha pushed me to far! TERRA THE DESTROYER!" He aimed the gigantic laser at Ryo, and in a bright flash of light all that was left of the so called amazing fighter in the ring was his scarf as Ryo's limp body flew halfway around the world to land in Guilmon's hut…the scarf, however, happened to settle right in the lap of a crying woman, formally known as 'number 1'.

"Sorry, but you just weren't good enough STEPHANY!…now if you excuse me, I have a date in my bedroom with the new number 1...I picked her myself." At this Yamaki smiled wickedly and left.

"…but (sniff) I…I was number 1!….You…(sniff sniff) picked me….!" She said, before breaking down once more.

**In the room of 'Spirit and Time'**

"So my NEW plan is that we all go in here, and get a years worth of training in one day!" Takato shouted enthusiastically. Everyone shouted in glee…everyone except for Guilmon.

"But Takatomon, this is only my hut…" the dino-Digimon said innocently. Suddenly, everyone sweat dropped and fell over anime-style. "What?"

Takato slapped his forehead exasperatedly…"Um…well, we'll still use it to train!" he shouted once more. Suddenly, his eyebrows began to twitch…a sure fire sign of a goggle-headed idea. "Um…yeah…train…well, Rika and I are going in first! Be out in about an hou…err…I mean a day!" Quickly, before any protest, Takato grabbed the red-headed tamer and rushed into the hut, slamming the door in the rest of their faces. Shouts of pleasure soon sent the tamers running once more.

"Geez…just like rabbits…or in our case, Terriermon…" Henry sighed, earning a glare from his big-eared companion. "Well, at least Renamon and I can go in next…" he thought, drooling. Renamon blushed, while everyone else (save Guilmon) vomited.

"Is that possible?" the innocent dino asked, earning an ass-kicking from the fox-Digimon. "What?" he choked on his own blood…err…data. And thus it was settled that all the tamers and Digimon would spend an hou…err…day in the room with a mate of their choosing. Takato and Rika emerged 3 days later, followed by Henry and Renamon (1 day), Ryo and Rika's mom (1 day), Jeri and Kazu (1 day), Guilmon and Terriermon (1 day), Calumon and Jennifer Lopez (1 day), and Yamaki and Number 1 (2 days)…everyone else was either ignored or forgotten in the fight to get into the hallowed 'training grounds.'

Soon enough, 10 days had passed and it was time for Beelzemon's tournament.

**At the Beelzemon Games…Day of the Tournament.**

" HURRY YOU GUYS, WE'RE LATE…!" Henry shouted as they all came huffing up, only to find that they had somehow ended up in a warehouse filled with banners.

" I thought I told you little Digi-punks that I was busy! It's not my fault you waited on me!" Yamaki shouted at Henry. " You shoulda listened and…" Yamaki stopped short as he noticed the banners and their various writings.

" THE YAMAKI DUMPED US AFTER SLEEPING WITH US CLUB"

" Revenge upon the jerk Yamaki!"

" 3,480,052 and counting!"

" Doom to the hottest man on earth!"

The Digidestined looked around quickly, amazed at the sight…and at the amount of women Yamaki had been with. " Geesh, do you ever sleep Yamaki? I mean, WITHOUT a woman after you two…" He was smacked over the head by Yamaki for talking over his womanly relationship…

" OH MY GOSH, IT'S YAMAKI! GET HIM!"

"THAT BASTARD DARED SHOW HIS FACE AGAIN!"

" I STILL REMEMBER THE DAY THAT JERK KICKED ME OUT! BASTARD!" The women whom were obviously the members of this hate group began to swarm the Digidestined, and they could only look on in horror as Yamaki began to sink back into the swarm, until they were pushed out of the building without being able to help him.

"It's to late…poor psycho-man…" Takato whispered sadly.

"Takato, since when have we cared?" Henry said, and Takato noticed that Henry was holding Renamon to his chest tightly.

"Good point…but why, pray tell, are you holding Renamon?" Takato asked dumbly. Henry instantly let go of Renamon, and they both started blushing furiously, earning them some strange side-glances from the others. "You know what, I don't even want to know…" Takato said, before they all walked off.

**Finally at the tournament!**

" We're here!" Takato shouted as they all ran up, only to find that Beelzamon was asleep in the middle of the ring. "…huh? OH great, we're 5 or 6 hours late, so he goes and takes a nap on us! This is all your fault Henry, since you and Renamon had to make that 'emergency' stop at your house for 2 hours!" Takato shouted angrily, causing Beelzamon to wake up.

"Hur…what happened? Who dared to wake ME up damn it?" Beelzamon shouted, as he slowly stretched then stood. " Ah, so the Digi-duds have arrived huh? Bout time, I thought ya mighta croaked or sumpin!" Beelzamon mocked.

Takato sneered, "Err…yeah!…I mean no!…I mean…err…just get ready Guilmon!…AND STOP SNIFFING MY ASS!"

" Takato, I'm gay and like HUMAN boys…and Terriermon. I can't help it, Beelzamon told me to, and I dare not defy him…"

" I WOULD NEVER TELL SOMETHING AS HORRIFYINGLY GAY AS YOU TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT TO DIE! NOW DIE! TERRA THE DESTROYER!" Beelzamon fired his laser, destroying Guilmon and relieving Takato of the freakish hideous…THING!…, and a round of cheers went up throughout the digital world…and the human world…and pretty much EVERY world…except for Guilmon world…but it was destroyed by Beelzamon, because the universe could barely stand to have ONE Guilmon…the gayness that would ensue from more than one…ugh…let us pray we never find out…

" Yo yo yo, waz up dogs! All my homeys in the house give a cheer cause MC Calumon in the hazilyyyy! Were my bitch's at?" Calumon shouted, dressed like something out of a horror movie, Jennifer Lopez hanging off his right arm, and a gold plated pimp-cane in his left. " I be takin' care o' this bitch right now! Calumon digivolve to…!" there was a bright flash of light, and when it began to clear it revealed none other than…" PIMPMON!"

Beelzamon sweat drops. " What the hell? TERRA THE DESTROYER!" He fired, but to his dissatisfaction Jennifer Lopez moved her ass in the way, taking the blast for Calu…er, Pimpmon.

" MY BEAUTIFUL ASS! MY CAREERS OVER!…" Jennifer started crying, making Beelzamon sweat drop. "…at sniff…least Calumon…sniff still loves me…" She said, crawling over to Pimpmon.

" Helz no I don't want chu' now bitch! I LIKED that ass, you can go be Yamaki's new numba' 1 fo' all I care." he said, then quickly turned and walked off to take advantage of some more foolish women.

" My god that was horrible…must…kill…SOMETHING!" His gaze quickly crossed the Digidestined, finally landing on…" I pick YOU Leomon!…who shouldn't even be here! TERRA THE DESTROYER!" Beelzamon shouted, firing a large beam of energy at the lion-Digimon.

" NOOOOO! GO PUPPET!" Jerry shouted, throwing the annoying puppet in the way, and the annoyingness of the puppet managed to counter the blast, sparing Leomon a second death, but the puppet was no more…

Kazu was the first to recover…" Way to go Jeri! With quick thinking like that, you're sure to steal Chumly away from…how did you put it…that 'dim witted worthless paranoid bitch!' was it?" Kazu cheered.

Takato turned in time to see a furious Rika " Uh…Rika…I don't think she said THA-"

" HOW DARE YOU YOU STUPID PSYCHO PUPPET LOVING BITCH!" Rika shouted, before being cut off by Kazu once more.

" Yeah Jeri, there is no way that, what'd you say, 'To tight pants wearing, no style having, icy-posing slut' I think it was. She doesn't have ANY chance against you with Chumly!"

" RIKA! LET HER LIVE! I BEG OF YOU!" Kenta shouted, clinging to her leg, only to realize that she wasn't moving.

" Oh don't worry…I'm not going to kill her now. I'm going to wait until she least expects it…and when she thinks she's FINALLY safe…I'll KILL HER!" Rika shouted, and Jeri let out a sigh of relief. " THAT sounds like the right time." Rika shouted, and proceeded to drag Jeri off into the distance from which the sounds of one HFIL of a cat fight…well…SLAUGHTER ensued. Rika finally came back covered in blood that WASN'T hers…and in fact, seemed to be from a few different people.

" Rika, what happened? Your covered in blood!" Takato shouted worriedly.

" Oh nothing, just ran into some troop of girl-scouts trying to hustle some cookies. Little money grubbing bitches."

Leomon sniffed the air quickly, and his eyes shot wide as he turned to Rika. " That smells like Jeri's blood! NOOOOOOOOO! I was gonna try to follow Renamon's lead and mate with a human!" Leomon started crying loudly, pissing off a previously stunned Beelzamon.

" Geesh, if we don'ts get back to business, that cop killer over there's gonna kill mor'a ya than me!" Beelzamon shouted, waving his hand at Rika. " Now as I'z was saying, I think I'll start with you kitty-cat! Terra the Destroyer!" Beelzamon shouted, blowing away the hideous crying freak.

Kazu, suddenly growing a backbone, decided it was his turn to take a stand. " Beelzamon! On behalf of the Digidestined here, I'd like to settle this right here!" Kazu shouted. Kenta turned to his friend with wonder in his eyes, only to be shoved in front of Beelzamon's feet. "I offer this freak in return for me and the tamer's lives!" Kazu shouted, smiling brilliantly.

" Not bad kid, ya' got patenchal'. Tell ya what, I'll take this in return for YOUR life, and I promise to not make you watch the others horrific ends of these freaks." Beelzamon grinned, before glaring at Kenta, who burst into flames and disintegrated.

Kazu smiled widely and wheeled around to face Takato. "See Chumly, I told you my plan would actually WORK. See ya' losers!" He shouted, before running into the distance.

"Not so fast Beelzamon! It's time for you and all your data sucking vermin kind to go back to where you belong!" Beelzamon wheeled around to see Yamaki standing there, his ever present Zippo lighter being flicked back and forth.

"Huh? And what'z a pathetic piece'a human trash like you gonna do?" Beelzamon smirked.

"Just this. Number 1, release the secret weapon!" Yamaki shouted, turning to his latest 'recruit', a young blond haired woman.

"YES SIR! AND DID I MENTION HOW HAPPY I AM TO BE ON **YOUR** CREW SIR?" She shouted happily, before pressing a big red button. Suddenly the high buzzing of a helicopter was heard, and as it began to wheel overhead it dropped a large crate. Suddenly the box began to shake…and shake, and moans began to come from inside until a side fell down to reveal…

"Yamaki, I better get a raise after you puttin me in that damned crate…you dumb kid." Out walked none other than Jack "Grizzly Wing" Taylor!

"YES! My weapon his HIM!" Yamaki shouted. "Now go you filthy Janitor, and destroy him!" Yamaki shouted, pointing at Beelzamon. "Grizzly Wing" merely looked at the two, then went off sweeping the ring and mumbling about the 'dumb kids'

Takato looked at Yamaki dumbfounded…"THAT was your plan? No technical deletion mumbo jumbo? Just an ancient janitor with a personal hygiene problem? You're losing your touch, man."

"Grrr…shut up kid! That's it! It's secret weapon time!" He shouted, just as he stopped flicking his lighter, the cap off.

"Uh…so where is it? I'm sorta drawing a blank here…" Takato stuttered.

"YOU FOOL! Don't you get it? This is no ordinary lighter! This is a…ZIPPO lighter! With this I will destroy him!" Yamaki shouted.

"Oh really. Well I'd love to stand here and let you cure that chill and the air for me, but I got things to do so…Terra the Destroyer!" Beelzamon shouted, firing his blast at the crazy executive man.

"FOOL!" Yamaki shouted, and suddenly a large blaze of fire came out, and the two met in the center of the ring. There was a large explosion knocking everyone except the two to their butts. The smoke began to clear, to reveal them both standing there, the blasts having cancelled themselves out. Yamaki was the first to recover. "Heh, not bad DIGIMON! But it'll take more than that to beat me." Yamaki laughed, but suddenly Beelzamon smirked.

"Ya' sure bout' that?" Yamaki suddenly looked down to see that the blasts had caused a tiny scratch on his beautiful new lighter.

" How…no…lighter…ggrrrr….ggggrrrrr…" Yamaki began to shake with anger. " You've taken my idea of a world without Digimon…you've taken my lighters shiny greatness…FOR THAT I WILL DESTROY YOU! YAAAAHHHH!" Yamaki began firing rapid fire balls at Beelzamon, all larger than the original ones that had harmed the lighter. He unleashed thousands upon thousands, never stopping. He growled with the exertion, the anger…" IT'S OVER!" he shouted, firing more and more, the ground shook, huge earthquakes destroyed entire mountain ranges, tidal waves destroyed the city. He fired and fired and finally, at the ends of his limits, ended the assault, looking down in delight at the smoking area. He began to relax and let his shoulders relax when…

" WRONG! IT'S OVER WHEN I SAY IT'S OVER!" Beelzamon burst from the clouds, smacking Yamaki into a crater in the ground, unconscious.


End file.
